Holding On
by BluePeacocke
Summary: Brax has always taught them that family comes first. The Braxton's against the world! Together they are strong and there is nothing they can not overcome as a family. But those family bonds are tested in the wake of an unspeakable tragedy. Will the family stay together when individually they are all falling apart?
1. Chapter 1

**A new story I have been working on. Hope you enjoy! :) **

**Chapter One: **

"What are you doing at work when the surf is so good?" Casey grinned, leaning against the bar watching his big brother work.

Brax laughed. "Someone's gotta keep this place going. It pays the bills."

Casey looked over to the table where Kyle, Ricky and Phoebe sat eating lunch. "Kyle can do it."

"Nah mate. He's been working too much lately."

"Well he clearly can't get enough of the place if he is here on his day off."

Brax gave a small nod and glanced over at the table where his family sat. He caught Ricky watching him. Their eyes met briefly before she quickly turned her attention back to the table.

"They are always watching you now," Casey stated.

There was silence before Brax finally said, " You know what mate? I do feel like that surf." 

**-x-**

"We shouldn't be doing this Ric," Kyle stated before taking a bite of his pizza.

"Doing what?" Ricky feigned ignorance.

"Spying."

"We aren't spying. We are just having lunch."

"Call it whatever you want, but Brax knows what we're doing here and he doesn't like it."

"Kyle's right Ric," Phoebe interjected. "Brax going back to work is a good thing. If he thinks he can handle it, then maybe we should trust his judgment and leave him to it?"

Ricky shook her head in frustration. "We all know he is not OK." She looked over at Brax whose mind was clearly elsewhere. Brax stared back at her and she quickly turned to face Kyle. "He is still…."

Ricky couldn't finish the sentence but Kyle didn't need her to. He gently rested his hand on her hand. "If that's what he needs to do to get through this, is it really the worst thing?"

A single tear slipped down Ricky's cheek. 

**-x-**

Brax left Casey at the bar and walked towards the table where his family was sitting. "How's your lunch?"

"Yeah good," Ricky forced a smile, quickly wiping away the tear before Brax would see. "How are you?"

Brax could see that Ricky was upset, but he didn't want to think about that now. He turned to Kyle. "Listen mate, do you think you could cover me for a bit? There's something I need to do."

"I don't think so Brax," Phoebe answered before Kyle had a chance. "This is Kyle's first day off in weeks."

Brax didn't take his eyes off Kyle. "Can you do it?"

Kyle slowly nodded and stood up. "Yeah I can do it."

"Kyle…No!" Phoebe moaned. "You need a break."

"Just leave it Phoebs. I'm here anyway." Kyle walked over to the bar and Brax walked out the door, happy to be free of the watchful eyes. Casey followed him out the door. 

**-x-**

Brax paddled out on his board. Casey was close beside him. "Why didn't you take on that wave?" Are you getting soft in your old age?" Casey teased playfully.

"Maybe." He wasn't out here for the waves today.

"Do you remember the first time you took me surfing?"

Brax smiled. "Yeah. You didn't listen to a word I said and ended up cracking your head open on the rocks."

"I didn't want to stay on the sand."

"Patience has never been your strong suit Case." Brax chuckled.

"Maybe if I had a better teacher, I wouldn't have had to try to teach myself."

"Oi'," Brax gave Casey a playful shove. "You might be headed for another injury if you're not careful."

"Oooo I'm scared." Casey laughed. "Empty threats Brax. You'd never hurt me." Casey paddled fast to catch the next wave. Brax followed and hoped the rush of the wave would overpower the sudden feeling of nausea sweeping through his body. 

**-x-**

Phoebe looked down at her watch and huffed. "I can't believe he is _still _not back. He said he was only going for a short break." Phoebe and Ricky were sitting at the bar watching Kyle clean glasses while they waited for Brax to return.

"I knew he wasn't ready to come back to work," Ricky was slumped against the bar, propping her head up with her hand.

"I think it has a lot more to do with the fact he was feeling smothered," Kyle sighed. "I did try to warn you."

"Mmm, he'll be back soon," Ricky murmured.

Kyle couldn't help but notice how tired and pale she looked. "Phoebs can you take Ricky home? She needs to rest."

"NO!" both girls called out at once.

Ricky sat up straight, the anger evident on her face. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that Kyle. The last thing I need right now is you fussing over me."

"And I'm not leaving this place without you Kyle," Phoebe demanded, looking just as angry. "I'm not letting you work another shift. I'll drag you out of here if I have to."

Kyle sighed. "You two are just as stubborn as each other." He walked out from behind the bar and placed a light kiss on Phoebe's cheek. "I appreciate you looking out for me Phoebe, I really do, but I'm fine to keep working." He turned towards Ricky. "Ric, do I need to remind you what Nate said about stress?" Ricky slowly shook her head. "It's not good for the baby. He told you to take extra care of yourself right now and I can see how tired you are," Kyle put his hand on her shoulder. "Please go home and take it easy and leave Brax to me. I'll call as soon as I hear from him."

Phoebe linked arms with Ricky and the girls reluctantly made their way home. 

**-x-**

Brax and Casey sat on the sand, letting the sun dry their skin. "Don't you need to get back to work?" Casey asked.

"Nah, not today."

"Home?"

"No."

"They'll be waiting," Casey stated but Brax remained silent. "They'll be angry," Casey continued.

"Anger is better than…." Brax kicked the sand with his feet. "Let's just stay here a bit longer."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the lovely reviews. The story will slowly start to become clear over the next couple of chapters. **

**Chapter Two:**

Phoebe came and sat next to Ricky on the couch and handed her a mug of tea. "Thanks Phoebs, " Ricky gripped the mug with both hands.

"I know Kyle can be full on, but he was right when he said you need to look after yourself a bit more," Phoebe said as she took a sip from her own mug of tea.

"I know, " Ricky gave a small nod. "It's just hard not to worry about…well, everything right now."

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed.

"Kyle looks tired."

"He hasn't been sleeping," Phoebe replied. "He slips out of bed when he thinks I'm asleep and sits out in the backyard, staring into space." Ricky nodded to let Phoebe know she was listening, but she didn't interrupt. "And then after that, he goes off and spends every other minute of the day at the damn restaurant."

"I'm sorry Phoebe. I shouldn't have guilted you both into coming to Angelo's with me today."

"You don't need to apologise. You're just worried about Brax. I get it!" Phoebe rubbed Ricky's arm. "And let's face it – Kyle would have ended up there anyway. He is worried about Brax too, not to mention the fact he no longer knows what to do with himself if he isn't at work."

There was a knock at the door and Phoebe put down her tea. "I'll go," she said before walking over and pulling open the front door.

"Hi," Sophie Taylor, the principal of Summer Bay High, greeted Phoebe with a smile.

"Hi."

"I hope this isn't a bad time, but I was wondering if I could speak with someone about Josh Barrett?"

"Yeah sure, come in." Phoebe motioned for Sophie to enter the house. "Can I get you a tea?"

"Just a water would be lovely. I won't stay long," Sophie replied.

Ricky got up off the couch and walked over to the dining table and Sophie followed her. "Is everything OK with Josh?" Ricky asked. Phoebe placed a glass of water in front of Sophie and joined them both at the table.

"Is Josh home?" Sophie asked, looking around.

"No, he's not back from school yet I don't think."

"I've been trying to get in contact with his brother Andy but he hasn't returned any of my calls and I haven't seen him around town lately."

"He left," Ricky stated, hoping that Sophie wouldn't probe.

"Do you know where he is or when he'll be back?" Sophie inquired. "He is still Josh's legal guardian isn't he?"

"We are looking after Josh now," Ricky was not in the mood to be talking about Andy Barrett. "Is everything OK?" Ricky repeated her earlier question.

"I'm afraid not," Sophie sighed. "A number of Josh's teachers have alerted me to the fact that he hasn't been turning up to his classes for the past few weeks."

"Are you sure?" Phoebe frowned. "He leaves for school every morning in his uniform."

"I'm sure."

Phoebe looked at Ricky. "Where do you think he's been going?"

Ricky shrugged before turning to Sophie. "Sorry Sophie. We'll talk to him and make sure he goes to school from now on."

"Thanks," Sophie responded. "I know it has been a tough time," she paused before continuing. "But I would hate to see Josh throw away his education when he has worked so hard to get to this point."

"I agree." Ricky stood up and saw Sophie out. "Thanks again for letting us know," she said before closing the door and making her way back to the couch. "How could we not notice that he hasn't been going to school?"

"He's obviously been doing a pretty good job of hiding it," Phoebe sat back down next to Ricky. "And we've had lots of other things on our minds lately."

"He is a 16 year old kid…..I feel like we've let him down."

Phoebe placed her arm around Ricky. "We've been doing our best and that's all anyone can do."

**-x-**

Josh looked at his watch. School would be finished. It was safe to go home. He looked around The Blaxland and made sure there was nothing out of place or nothing left behind. No sign to alert Alf Stewart to the fact that his boat had been Josh's daily hiding place. Denny wasn't working at the moment so Alf had been busy at the Bait Shop, carrying the double load and The Blaxland was left idle. That meant that Josh was able to lie low in the comfort of the boat all week.

Time passed slowly on the boat. The sound and scent of the water soothed him. The simplicity felt good. He could breathe out here, unlike in the confines of a classroom. Josh felt unsure about so much at the moment but the one thing he did know was that he couldn't go back to school. Not now when it all felt so pointless. What was the point of spending hours deciphering useless information in a textbook when it could all be for nothing? Josh had made up his mind. But he did not have the energy to fight against those who would disagree, so for now the boat remained his sanctuary. A place where he could forget it all. He would come back tomorrow. Josh picked up his bag and began the walk home.

**-x-**

Brax sat on a step in the backyard, waxing his surfboard. Casey sat on the grass opposite him, doing the same. Brax's mind wandered to a time when Casey was a little kid and he would pretend to wax the boogie board Brax had given him for his birthday. "Look at me Brax," he would call as he mimicked Brax's every move, wanting to be just like his big brother. Casey was almost a man now. Where had time gone?

Brax heard the back door slide open and he was taken from his thoughts. Ricky walked towards him. "Ricky doesn't look too happy Brax. I'll leave you to it," Casey smirked before strolling out the side gate.

"Hi," Ricky said. She kissed Brax on the forehead and sat down on the step next to him. "How long have you been home? I didn't hear you come in."

Brax shrugged. "Not long."

"Where have you been? We were waiting for you back at the restaurant."

"Out," Brax kept waxing his board. He loved Ricky, but he hated how she looked at him now.

Ricky sighed. "Did you see Josh in your travels?" Brax shook his head. "We have a problem on our hands Brax. The Principal came around today and told us that he hasn't been turning up for school."

"That's not our problem Ric. I don't care what that kid does."

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do. If he wants to quit school, that's his problem."

"I know how hard you fought for Casey to finish school and…"

"Josh is not Casey!" Brax interrupted. "I'm going out. Don't wait up!" Ricky watched Brax leave. She placed her hands on her pregnant belly and wondered if Brax would ever find his way back to them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. Many questions will be answered soon. In answer to Guest - the ages are: Brax 33, Ricky 29, Kyle and Phoebe 24, Casey 20 and Josh 16. I was so happy when I saw Brax working on the cot in tonight's episode, knowing that I was about to post this chapter. It fits in well. I thought the writers had forgotten about it. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! :) **

**Chapter Three:**

Brax strolled up to the Angelo's bar and took a seat at one of the stools. The restaurant was busy and it took Kyle a moment to realise his brother was watching him. "Brax!" Kyle handed a customer her wine and walked over to Brax.

"Hey mate, " Brax stood up before continuing. "Listen, I just wanted to say…sor.."

"That's not necessary Brax," Kyle quickly interrupted. "We are partners now. The restaurant is my responsibility too and I'll always help out when I can."

Brax nodded. "Yes, but it hasn't been much of a partnership lately. I know you are carrying this place at the moment. It was your day off and I shouldn't have…"

"Really Brax, it's fine!" Kyle once again stopped his brother from apologising. He didn't like to think that Brax was piling this unnecessary guilt on top of the rest of the guilt he was desperately fighting against. Kyle couldn't do anything about that, but he could keep the family business running. That's about all he could do.

"Thanks mate!" Brax gave Kyle a pat on the arm to signal his appreciation. "Can you pour me a beer? I don't feel like going home right now."

Kyle frowned as he started pouring. "Everything OK?" he lightly inquired.

"Yep." Brax grabbed the beer and made his way out to the verandah area of his restaurant.

**-x-**

Josh walked in the front door and was greeted by Ricky and Phoebe. "Hi Josh," Ricky greeted.

"Hey," Josh replied before turning to make his way to his room.

"How was school?" Phoebe called out.

"Good!"

"Hey Josh, can you come back here for a minute? We need to talk to you."

"Maybe later. I've got a ton of homework."

"This is important," Ricky spoke more firmly this time. Josh's heart dropped as he slowly made his way to the living room. He knew what was coming. Ricky signaled for him to join her and Phoebe at the dining table. They all sat down. "Where were you today?" Ricky asked.

"At school."

"Please stop lying to us." Ricky remained calm as she spoke. She knew getting angry would not help the situation. "Miss Taylor came to see us today so we know you haven't been going to school. Where have you been going every day?"

Josh looked down at his hands. He knew his secret would be exposed eventually but he wasn't ready yet.

"Josh?" Phoebe had none of Ricky's patience and she was starting to become frustrated.

"Mr Stewart's boat," Josh mumbled, still unable to look at the girls directly.

"Why?"

Josh shrugged his shoulders in reply. It was not something he was ready to explain.

"Why didn't you just tell us you needed a break from school?" Ricky gently asked. "You know that everyone would understand."

"I don't need a break. I'm done with school!"

"I know it's a hard time at the moment Josh. But it's not the time for making big decisions that could affect your whole future."

"I've made up my mind." Josh responded resolutely.

"Why don't we go and speak to Miss Taylor and organise an exemption for a while so you have time to think about it before you make any rash decisions?" Ricky suggested.

"Drop it Ricky! I'm not going back and you can't make me." Josh could no longer hide his anger. "Why do you even care anyway?"

"Cos we're family Josh. We care about you and want the best for you," Ricky replied genuinely.

"I don't have a family." Josh murmured before walking out the front door.

**-x-**

Casey joined Brax at Angelo's. They sat out on the verandah as night fell. The dark brought an unease that Brax could not explain and he was happy not be be alone. Even happier that it was Casey keeping him company. "Are you still in the doghouse with Ricky?" Casey grinned.

"Do I need to remind you that it is you who landed me in there in the first place?"

"Hey, it wasn't my idea to spend the whole afternoon at the beach. I just wanted a little lunchtime surf with my big bro," Casey smiled.

Brax nodded. Casey was right. Brax had no one to blame but himself for the current coldness that had seeped into his relationship with Ricky. They should be closer than ever with their baby on the way but instead there was a distance that had never been there before. Brax wanted to share her happiness but he couldn't. He couldn't feel anything.

Casey cut through Brax's thoughts. "Hey Brax, I was only stirring. Ricky knows you love her."

"I hope so."

"She does," Casey reaffirmed. "But if you are worried, maybe you could do something for her? You've had my old cot lying around out the back since before Ricky was even pregnant. Maybe you could start fixing it up tomorrow? I'll help you."

Brax thought about it for a minute and then nodded. "Yeah. That's a good idea. Thanks Case." Brax took the last swig of his beer and patted Casey on the shoulder. Things always felt better when Casey was by his side.

**-x-**

Kyle arrived home and Phoebe walked straight over and gave him a kiss. "How was work?"

"Fine," he replied, putting his keys down and making his way over to the fridge.

"Did you see Brax?" Ricky asked.

"Yeah, he's there now."

"Didn't you close up?" Ricky followed Kyle into the kitchen.

"Yes but Brax wanted to stay."

"What is he doing?"

Kyle paused, not knowing what to tell Ricky. He didn't want to lie but he knew the truth would upset her.

"Kyle! What is he doing?" Ricky asked again.

"He's just having a drink Ric. I wouldn't have left him if I didn't think he was fine," Kyle assured.

"Is he drinking alone?" Ricky questioned. Kyle didn't reply and Ricky dropped her head into her hands before walking from the main house and into the studio she shared with Brax.

She picked up her phone and dialed the number. She had been resisting the urge to call but now she felt she had no other choice. She needed her best friend and Brax needed his brother.

"Hey," the familiar voice answered the call.

"Heath. Please come home. We need you!"


End file.
